


His memories

by BloodthirstyMerc



Series: Voltron Bingo [13]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Angst and Smut, Clothed Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Memories, NSFW, Operation Kuron (Voltron), Public Sex, Recovered Memories, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Smut, Voltron, Voltron Bingo 2018, Voltron NSFW Bingo, adashi, alien dick, background Adashi, implied/referenced adashi, nsfw card, shiro's clone - Freeform, shotor, vld, voltron legendary defender - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 11:30:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16449116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodthirstyMerc/pseuds/BloodthirstyMerc
Summary: “No, I’m not. And I don’t want to be.” Its tone is similar to that of a hiss. Lotor raises his eyebrow and reaches up to grab hold of the clone’s wrist, pushing it away from his throat. Despite the anger in its eyes, it loosens its hold but keeps Lotor boxed in against the wall.{Prompt fill for my NSFW Voltron bingo card}





	His memories

Lotor stared over at the clone from the corner of his eye. He stood statue still, without any instructions given to him, he didn’t find the need to move. It was almost weird seeing the clones act in this way, for they all did. Lotor should be used to seeing them around by now, with the number they’ve experimented on in their attempts to make sure they got the perfect duplicate of Shiro. Yet, somehow seeing them stand around like lifeless creatures always left an unsettling feeling in Lotor’s gut. Lotor scans his eyes over the bridge, at all the soldiers working over the consoles, to Haggar, standing around looking just as dumb as her pawn. Lotor eyes the clone again for a second before he makes up his mind. He steps up to it, the yellow stare of its blank eyes meeting his own. He knows it’s worthless, but he offers the creature a smile.

“Perhaps I can put you to more use. Unless you’d rather stand around collecting dust.” Lotor offers, raising an eyebrow. He doesn’t have to ask for it to follow him, because while Haggar is still in the things head it will follow orders like it’s meant to. The clone blinks but says nothing. Lotor leads the way and without even the slightest bit of hesitation, it follows.

No one questions his motives as he leads the clone from the bridge back into the sleeping quarters on a lower level of the ship. He could throw the thing into the vacuum of space and no one would care. There were plenty ready in line to replace it. Besides Haggar’s obvious plan to take Voltron down from the inside, Lotor couldn’t figure out a reason she’d need so many clones. But so help him if he dares ask.

Lotor peers over his shoulder to the clone and offers it another smile. “Don’t look so glum, there’s no need for the perfect soldier act around me.”

“What did you want from me?” The clone asks, his tone flat and such a perfect match of Shiro’s that it almost makes him feel uncomfortable. If Haggar could produce an army of this one human, copied right down to the damn arm, who’s to say she won’t do more or worse.

“Who said I wanted anything?” Lotor asks with a smug lilt to his tone. The clone suddenly stops walking. Lotor notices it from the corner of his eye. He turns to the creature and raises his eyebrow again. “What? You can’t have a purpose unless Haggar’s in your head giving you orders.”

It doesn’t say anything as it lowers its gaze. It looks unsure of itself and Lotor wonders if that’s a characteristic of its own or something Shiro struggles with himself. Lotor crosses his arms over his chest. “You can have purpose.”

“I’m meant to be _him_.” The clone sneers. They’ve found that some of the clones, once they have a concept of the fact that they’re playing the part of someone else, start to question their existence. It happens far more than Haggar would like and usually results in the clones being destroyed. It seems that the one they’ve got out there right now, fucking with Voltron, feeding Haggar the information she needs, is the only clone that hasn’t mentally spiralled yet.

“That’s because you are.” Lotor states. The clone sneers and suddenly Lotor finds himself pinned up against the wall, that metal hand around his throat as the clone growls at him like a damn animal. Lotor can’t help but laugh, despite the grip on his throat.

“No, I’m not. And I don’t _want_ to be.” Its tone is similar to that of a hiss. Lotor raises his eyebrow and reaches up to grab hold of the clone’s wrist, pushing it away from his throat. Despite the anger in its eyes, it loosens its hold but keeps Lotor boxed in against the wall.

“Take a look at yourself. You are Shiro, Haggar’s little pet.” Lotor keeps his tone calm to try and avoid having that damn arm take him out.

“No… I don’t want this, I don’t want to be this.” The clone mutters, dropping its head forward. Lotor stares at it for a long while, surprised. He’s seen the clones dissociate, he’s watched them fall apart over the lack of their own personality. But he’s never seen one with such raw feeling of hate toward itself. Without thinking, Lotor lifts his hand and cautiously brushes his fingers over the edge of the scar over the clone’s face. A scar that isn’t genetic and is given to every clone, just as every arm is removed just so that it can be replaced by one like Shiro’s.

“I’m sorry.” Lotor finds himself saying. The clone almost looks surprised to hear it. Lotor is a little surprised too, but he finds that he genuinely is sorry for every one of these damn creatures. “She’ll kill you the moment she finds out you’re not… impressionable or willing.”

“I know. I’ve seen the others,” The clone turns its head to the side and drops its arms away from Lotor’s body. “My replacements.”

Lotor swallows thickly and tries to imagine what it must be like, being created for the sole purpose to be someone else, to act and move and talk like a person you only know from memories and lies fed to you. To be someone to know that their existence means nothing, that there are hundreds more just like you ready to take your place if you don’t follow the rules. Lotor sighs and slowly pulls his hand away from the clone’s face. Maybe all of the past clones have been like this and Lotor had just never noticed. It didn’t matter, he could feel the tugging in his chest, the pity he feels for something he shouldn’t care about. He straightens his shoulders and clears his throat.

“You may have his body, but you are not the person he is.” Lotor offers.

“He was a good person.” The clone mumbles, closing its eyes as it lets memories that aren’t its own filter through its mind. “They care about him, they love him. He loved and cared for them. Family, friends… love, he had it all. He’d only ever done what he thought was right, regardless of what that meant for himself.”

Lotor knows most of this. Haggar has been messing around in the head of Shiro for years now, and it was all too easy for Lotor to pry around in her research and find out what he desired about the human. Yet hearing come from the clone makes it hit hard for him. He couldn’t imagine being loved or having love, having people who genuinely care about you for you, and not your bloodline or status to the throne. Lotor drops his gaze.

“He fought for everyone except himself.” The clone continues. Lotor swallows, giving a small nod.

“He sacrificed everything without the thought of having anything given in return.” Lotor offers. The clone nods as it lifts it’s hands and looks them over, from flesh to metal.

“I don’t want to be what he was, I don’t want to pretend like I deserve any of what he should still have.” The clone admits in a low voice. Lotor lifts his gaze again, watching the creature. “I think I’d rather she killed me.”

Lotor sighs as he averts his gaze again, unable to look at something so dismal. It made his gut churn, made him want to strangle Haggar for what she’s put every single clone through. It makes him want to destroy every clone kept in cryostasis before they’re forced to go through what this clone was now having to suffer through. There’s not much he can do for the creature unless he was able to somehow convince Haggar that the clones could be put to better use if they were kept alive instead of pointless destroyed. He straightens his shoulder again and rests his hand on the clone’s shoulder.

“Perhaps… there is a third option.” Lotor offers as he thinks it over in his head. Haggar will most likely not agree with him, but he could at least try to keep this one clone safe. If not for the creature itself, then for his own personal reasons. At least this way he could feel like he was doing something right for once. The clone turns to look at him, seeming curious though Lotor can see the doubt in its eyes. Lotor doesn’t blame it, and he’s glad it doesn’t have its hopes up. “I could always use a right-hand man. And despite humans being… less than Galra, you do have some Galra genes spliced into you. You could be… useful at the least in Haggar’s eyes.”

“She won’t allow it.” The clone states. Lotor gives its shoulder a light squeeze before he drops his hand away.

“I’m not going to give up on you. Besides like you said, there’s more waiting to take your place. She doesn’t really care what happens with you, so long as her plan isn’t tampered with.” Lotor offers, flashing the clone another smile. It stares back at him, something showing on its face that Lotor can’t place, something unreadable. He’s not sure if the creature is upset or not with the idea.

For the clone, it’s gut churns and its heart beats unevenly in its chest. A feeling of relief that it hasn’t felt in its entire existence coiling around in its bones. Lotor’s thrown off a little when the clone steps into his space again, pressing him back against the wall once more. Only this time it's not in an aggressive way. Images flash in the clone’s mind, glimpses of another human that, from the memories and feelings that follow the sight of him, must have meant a great deal to Shiro. The thoughts mould and change, the feeling in the clone’s chest matching that feeling of hope and joy that accompanies the images of this human. And without much thought, it leans in, nuzzling its nose against the side of Lotor’s before it tilts its head and presses a chaste kiss to Lotor’s lips.

Lotor barely moves, he’s not even sure he breathes properly as it happens. It feels like it’s over in a second while also lasting for hours, the clone’s cautious actions seeming to flux between too fast and too slow. It steps back again, eyes cast downward as the memories in its head start to mix and melt, what was real for it and what was real to _Shiro_ starting to feel like they were not separating. Lotor stares back at the clone as it collects itself.

“Thank you.” It finally mumbles, deciding that the images may have influenced the sudden tight feeling in its chest and the emotions that go with it, but that it didn’t care. Its existence meant nothing. Lotor was trying to change that. Lotor snaps out of his daze and his lip turns up into a smirk. He reaches out and takes hold of the clone’s wrist, pulling it closer to him again as he tilts his head back against the wall.

“You deserve a chance,” Lotor admits. The clone nods. Lotor’s eyes travel down its body. It stands stiffly again, shoulders drawn inward like it didn’t want to be as tall as it was. Lotor smirks, licking his lips as he straightens himself. “And a name, if you’re going to be your own person.”

The clone lifts its gaze again, yellow eyes searching Lotor’s face curiously. “Did you have anything in mind?”

Lotor thinks on it. There’s not much that comes to mind. They’ve always just called the clones exactly that. Sometimes it’d be Shiro, but more often than not it was simply ‘clone’. The project had been called ‘Operation: Kuron’, which was the only other thing that came to mind. Since he couldn’t call it Shiro, then perhaps-

“Kuro. Not quite human, like yourself.” Lotor offers with a light shrug. The clone worries its lip between its teeth before it gives a small nod.

“Makes sense I guess.” It responds. Lotor nods, dropping his gaze to look over its body again.

“Now… do you want to try that again?” Lotor asks in a suggestive tone of voice. Kuro stares a little blankly at him for no longer than a few seconds before prosthetic fingers are brushing over Lotor’s cheek, gripping the side of his face in a light hold before he leans in and presses their lips together again.

Lotor’s eyes slide shut as he drops his hands to Kuro’s hips, pulling the clone into his body as he allows it to control the kiss. Kuro tilts his head slightly, swiping his tongue over Lotor’s bottom lip. Lotor parts his lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss as he’s pushed harder against the wall. The pace picks up, their movements becoming more frantic and forceful as their hands start to roam over each other's bodies. Lotor pulls back, panting with a wide smirk as he looks up at the clone.

“Someone’s eager.” Lotor hums, pulling Kuro’s hips harder into his own. Kuro ducks his head, chewing his bottom lip nervously as colour rises on his cheeks. Thoughts and memories that aren’t his own flash around in his heads, feelings of pleasure and love, the images of bodies pressed together, moving as one. Old memories, things that were dwelled on often.

“There was… a lot of built up sexual tension in his memories…” Kuro admits, feeling his own arousal blending with what the memories offer. Lotor’s smirk grows and his hold on Kuro’s hips tightens as he pulls them impossibly closer together, grinding his hips into the clones. Kuro gasps softly, holding onto Lotor just as tight as he rolls his hips right into Lotor’s in turn to replicate more of that pleasure.

“Sounds like we need to fix that.” Lotor offers. Kuro surges forward again instantly, their lips colliding in a bruising kiss. Lotor chuckles against Kuro’s lips before he takes control and deepens the kiss again.

Their wandering hands start to get bolder, travelling lower on each other's bodies. Lotor’s hand dips into the back of Kuro’s pants and in turn, Kuro’s nails scratch lightly down Lotor’s sides from under his shirt. They find a rhythm together, pushing and pulling at each other, rolling their hips in the perfect sync to get them both hard and panting into each other's mouths.

Kuro tightens his hold on Lotor and roughly turns him around before the Galra can even properly register what’s happening. Lotor groans, his fingers gripping at the wall trying to find purchase on something as Kuro pressing himself firmly against his back. His face rests between Lotor’s shoulder blades, hands gripping his hips so hard as he grinds harder into Lotor’s ass. The images and memories don’t stop flashing in Kuro’s mind, the want to reach that level of pleasure spurring him on to get this moving as fast as possible. Kuro’s fingers hook into the sides of Lotor’s pants and he roughly pulls them down as the Galra arches his back slightly, turning his head over his shoulder to watch.

“You really are desperate. Didn’t even have the courtesy to ask.” Lotor chuckles as he lifts his gaze to meet Kuro’s eyes.

“If you wanted me to stop, you’d make that very apparent,” Kuro says as he drops his hand to Lotor’s ass, sliding his fingers down between the curves of his ass. He’s a little surprised to meet the wet texture of slick over Lotor’s hole. He drops his gaze as he pulls his fingers back, taking a look at the substance coating the tips of them.

“You look confused.” Lotor states. Kuro lifts his head again even as he drops his fingers back to Lotor’s body.

“I don’t think humans um… do that.” He says. Lotor scoffs.

“Don’t forget that I’m _not_ human,” Lotor mumbles as he pushes his hips back against Kuro’s hand. Kuro drops his eyes as he pulls his finger back up the slick crease of Lotor’s ass, pressing the tip to his hole.

“Far from it,” Kuro mutters, more to himself than Lotor as he presses his finger inside. The slide is easy, and it’s not just from the slick. Lotor’s muscles are relaxed, there’s barely any resistance from his body and Kuro’s able to pump his finger into him at as steady and firm pace.

Lotor moans softly from the feeling and Kuro decides to take a chance at working a second finger into him alongside the first. Again, he’s barely met by any resistance and it makes his cock twitch in his pants. Lotor reaches back over his head, gripping the back of Kuro’s hair as he pulls him forward more. Kuro goes willingly, tilting his head to the side so that Lotor can kiss him as best as he’s able to with the awkward angle.

Kuro fingers Lotor open at a fast, slightly rough pace, until Lotor’s panting and moaning into his mouth, barely able to kiss him back. Kuro pulls back to press a kiss to the side of Lotor’s neck as he pulls his fingers back again. Lotor rests his head against the wall, shifting his stance slightly to spread his legs a little. It only occurs to him then that they’re just in the damn corridor, completely exposed for anyone who might come past to see. It makes his heavy cock twitch against his belly.

He looks back over his shoulder to watch as Kuro pulls his own cock from his pants, stroking himself a few times to relieve some of the pressure while also spreading the slick from his fingers onto himself. Lotor takes in the sight of his cock and scoffs again. Kuro lifts his head, only to notice that Lotor’s watching him stroke himself. He drops his gaze back to his cock again.

“What?” He asks.

“Bit boring, isn’t it?” Lotor hums. Kuro looks up to him again, even more confused. Lotor drops his hand to his own cock as he pushes off the wall and turns around, stroking himself roughly.

Kuro’s attention is drawn to it and he feels himself clench from the sight of Lotor’s cock. It’s more pointed at the tip, yet still rounded at the head with that mushroom kind of form. Along the top of the length are ribs, from the bottom of the head right down to the base and along the bottom, three even lines of little, raised dots. And the colours, it goes from the faded purple of Lotor’s skin to a deep purple halfway up the length that darkens almost into an indigo at the head. It’s, for a lack of better words, gorgeous. Kuro averts his gaze to his own cock, barely varying in colour just at the head and without any texture.

“It’s not like it’s my fault.” Kuro mumbles. Lotor chuckles, reaching up to grab hold of Kuro’s chin, tilting his head up. He presses a quick kiss to his lips before he pulls away and turns to face the wall again.

“No, it’s not.” Lotor hums. He spreads himself open again, looking over his shoulder once more as he offers Kuro a smirk. “Put it to good use at least.”

Kuro resists the urge to roll his eyes as he steps up against Lotor again. He holds his cock at the base, tilting it down toward Lotor’s hole as he grinds against him some more. Lotor’s slick coats the tip of his cock and he feels himself leak a dribble of pre-come from the feeling alone. He angles his hips better before he slowly pushes in. Lotor’s hands come away from his ass almost instantly, pressing to the wall as he’s filled. Kuro replicates the sigh that passes Lotor’s lips as he slowly slides into the Galra, pressing their hips firmly together.

Lotor rests his forehead against the wall, sucking in a shaky breath as he takes hold of his cock again and starts to stroke himself. Kuro rocks into him at a slow pace to start with, allowing them both to get used to the feeling. It doesn’t take long before Lotor’s pushing back against him and he gets the memo to _move_.

Kuro grips Lotor’s hips in a biting hold, the rough grip of his metal hand more noticeable in Lotor’s mind than the sting of the nails of his flesh hand digging into his skin. He picks up the pace of his thrusts, slamming into Lotor fast and hard as the Galra pushes back against him to meet his thrusts. The slap of their skin meeting barely compares to the sounds Kuro’s pulling from Lotor now that he’s actually fucking him. He paws at the wall, still unable to find purchase as he’s pounded by the clone.

The images in Kuro’s mind don’t fade for a second, and pleasure Lotor’s bringing to his own body morphing with what comes to his sight behind his closed eyes. Bodies moving together in rough passion, moans and screams of pleasure, nails biting into skin, hair being pulled, lips meeting when teeth aren’t sinking into shoulders. It’s such a board and varied spectrum of pleasure that Kuro’s never experienced physically before that he’s not sure if he’ll last. He tries to focus back in on Lotor, but what’s memory and what’s reality start to meld together, and Kuro can see himself and Lotor like that, as they were, in the place of Shiro and his lover, making it feel like he and Lotor have had something for years.

Kuro presses his head into Lotor’s shoulder, biting into his own lip so that he doesn’t bite Lotor instead. His thrusts become more frantic, speed and force increasing until Lotor’s practically bouncing off his dick. Kuro claws at the front of Lotor’s shirt, almost wishing desperately that it wasn’t there, that they were instead in the comfort of a bed, holding onto each other like they couldn’t let go so that maybe this could mean something more.

Lotor’s head tips back, a guttural moan forcing its way out of his throat as his whole-body jolts forward. Kuro feels his hole clench around his cock, tightening beyond compare as his orgasm crashes over him. Kuro’s nails bite into Lotor’s skin, even though his clothes as he continues to slam into Lotor like he’s desperate. Lotor chokes out Kuro’s name, his head falling forward again as a moan follows. It has Kuro’s head spinning, the pleasure surging through his bones reaching new heights before it comes crashing down like a punch to the gut. Kuro thrusts hard into Lotor, crying out softly as he comes inside the Galra.

His body is taut, legs shaking as his arms tighten around Lotor’s waist. Lotor mutters under his breath, slouching against the wall as he struggles to hold up both of their weight now that Kuro had collapsed mostly against him with the waves of his orgasm. It takes Kuro longer to recover from his high, takes him far too long to regain anything close to a proper breathing pattern and for his head to stop spinning and his eyes to focus back in on reality. He rests his hands against Lotor’s hips again before he slowly pulls out. Come dribbles from Lotor’s hole now that nothing is there to hold it in. Kuro watches his hole clench around nothing, feels his chest tightening because the images in his head won’t leave him alone.

Lotor turns around, reaching up to frame Kuro’s face in his hands before he kisses him again, just as forcefully as before, but even messier now that they’re both exhausted and blissed out. Lotor slumps back against the wall, too tired to try keeping himself upright as his chest heaves with every breath he takes. He opens his eyes again, the smirk on his lips falling away at the look of distress in Kuro’s eyes. Before he can say anything, Kuro’s turning his gaze away as the thoughts of lust, love and hope finally start to bleed away.

“He loved him…” Kuro mumbles in a low voice, swallowing thickly as a hollow feeling settles in his chest. Lotor watches him for a long time in silence, trying to figure out how to approach this best.

“You don’t need to think about it. You’re not him.” Lotor finally offers in a soft voice. He cups Kuro’s cheek again, thumb rubbing slow circles in his skin. Kuro stares back at him before he gives a small nod.

He might not be, but Shiro’s memories will haunt him forever.

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my Tumblr](http://bloodthirstymerc.tumblr.com/about_merc) for more of me and earlier updates! It'd mean the world to me and would really help me out.


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